


Bittersweet Memories

by VodkaFingers



Category: Dead To Me (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Jen Harding - Freeform, Jen and Judy, Judy Hale - Freeform, Suicidal Thoughts, dead to me - Freeform, triggering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-15
Updated: 2020-05-11
Packaged: 2020-10-19 09:51:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20655248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VodkaFingers/pseuds/VodkaFingers
Summary: Like in the show, Judy tells Jen the truth about the night Ted died. Things get out of control; someone else is killed and many get hurt. Is there a possible happy ending after so many tears?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> (This is the first time I wrote a fanfiction after years, so I’m super rusty, yet I hope you enjoy reading! Here’s the link to the video I edited for this ff: https://youtu.be/Uiow9bPpbI0 )

Chapter 1 — Words that hurt like knives 

“It’s my fault.” Jen said to Judy out of nowhere while she was seated on one of the deck chairs in her garden.

“What? What’s your fault?” Judy asked confused as she approached her and took a seat on the deck chair next to the blonde.

“That he’s gone.” The other woman responded.

“Wait. Do you mean Charlie or Henry?” Judy thought she was talking about both of the children that were currently at their grandma’s house.

“Ted.”

“Ted? What are you talking about?” The confusion in Judy’s head only grew more and more with anything that came out of Jen’s mouth.

“The night that he died.. we had a fight.”

“Well, people fight, that doesn’t make it your fault.” The brunette placed a blanket which was nearby, around her shivering friend and herself.

“No, no.. I was really angry.“

“What were you fighting about?” Judy furrowed her eyebrows with intrigue.

“It’s too hard to talk about it.” Jen glanced away in slight embarrassment.

“You can tell me.” The brunette held the other woman by the arm, gently; showing her that she’s got someone to trust. “Come on, you can tell me anything.”

“He hadn’t..” A knot formed in Jen’s throat while she tried to tell the other one about the issue. “He hadn’t touched me in over a year.”

“Okay, well he was having an affair. So that is on him.” The other woman reassured her friend; or at least she tried.

“No. No, he- he stopped after my mastectomy.” To Jen it felt embarrassing to admit that truth.

“Oh..” But Judy held her hand tightly and again, she showed support for the blonde, while her eyes looked right into blue ones.

“I just thought it wouldn’t matter..” She could feel the tears form and immediately roll down her cheeks as she struggled to get a phrase out of her trembling lips. “-that he- he could get past it.. all of that. But he couldn’t.”

“I’m so sorry.” Judy moved closer while her voice was full of compassion.

“And he didn’t want me anymore..” Jen continued, crying. “But I needed him. He-- he made me feel so disgusting. And I-- was just so resentful and that night I just got heated and and I hit him.” More tears streamed down rosy cheeks.  
“The last thing I did before he walked out that door was .. was hit him.” She said into the emptiness.

“Okay..” Judy didn’t know how to react or what to say after all this information.

“I punched him in the face.” 

“Well, I’m sure he said something that made you upse—“ The brunette caressed the blonde’s hand affectionately as she got interrupted.

“Oh God, Judy please stop. Stop trying to make me feel better all the time.” She was too annoyed and tired of hearing the other woman trying to calm her down and the guilty feeling within her only made it worse.

“I’m just saying. I’m sure there was a good rea—“ 

“No! It was my fault that he’s dead.” Jen glared at her.

“He wasn’t even here. He was out on a run, Jen.” Judy kept naming excuses.

“Oh God. He wasn’t running.” The blonde raised her voice in anger — she was mostly angry at herself. “It was one o’clock in the morning. He was on that road because he didn’t want to spend another second in this house with me.” She gulped and she barely had a voice to say the next words. “I killed him.” Jen inhaled deeply before she continued speaking. “Oh god, I keep trying to find the person to blame and.. I drove him away. I hit him. I fucking hit him.” 

Judy couldn’t keep it a secret anymore. She couldn’t sit there and see her friend blame herself. She had to tell the woman she cares about the truth, even if it meant she’d lose her forever. “No I hit him.” She whispered ashamed while she lowered her gaze.

“Wha-“ Jen knit her eyebrows together in confusion as she glanced to the other woman.

“I hit him” Judy claimed.

“Okay, what are you talk-“ Shaking her head in confusion, Jen tried to understand the brunette. “I hit- I hit him.”

“No, I hit him.” Judy repeated and every time she did, her anxiety grew.

“No. I hit him.” Jen was serious now.

“I hit him.” Judy gulped.

“I hit him. Judy oh, God.” Jen noticed it wasn’t one of Judy’s reassuring moments anymore. She realized that there could be a possibility that the brunette killed her husband, yet that again was impossible to believe.

“I hit him.”

“He was walking out the door and—“ Jen shook her head as she explained.

But Judy burst out the truth. “I had a ’66 Mustang.”

Jen’s jaw dropped. That was impossible. Blue eyes filled with tears again.  
The feeling she had on the inside was indescribable. The word betrayal would be too underrated to describe it.  
“It was so dark, and I was driving and I didn’t see a bend in the road and I took it too fast and I-“ Judy stuttered and she didn’t dare to look into the other’s eyes. “He was just right there. I wasn’t even sure what had happened .. and then I wanted to go back but I couldn’t.” She paused to inhale deeply.  
“And I thought if I could just.. somehow make it up to you, if I could help you somehow or if I could be your friend..” 

Jen pulled her hand back the moment she believed that her friend was indeed the killer of her husband. 

“Please forgive me, Jen.. please..” Judy begged the blonde while she herself was crying.  
“I had no idea that I was gonna love you so much, or the boys or that you guys would become my family.” And that was the first time, she admitted the love she felt towards her and her family. Judy had fallen in love with Jen, within that short time. “Please.. say something.” The silence combined with the death glare that came from Jen, which felt like a thousand knives crossing through Judy’s chest; let alone herself admitting the truth and knowing she was hurting the other woman.  
“Please tell me what I can do to make it better and to make things right and I’ll do it. I would do anything. Please tell me what I can do.” Desperately the kneeled woman asked Jen but all she could coldly say was:

“You can die.”

And with that, the blonde stood up and locked herself inside the house.

Judy realized that in the moment that she admitted the truth, she had lost Jen. “No.. no.” She shook her head and cried. — Everything was over now.

She got up and started to pack her stuff. Then she left the house she used to live in and decided to go to her second home; the place she worked in, the home for the elderly, where her friend Abe lived in — or so she thought.

“Abe? You up?” She whispered loud enough for the people in Abe’s room to hear.

“I’m so sorry Judy..” The nurse, that was removing the sheets on which Abe slept said with a sad face. “He went peacefully.” She added.

In that moment Judy’s world was falling apart. Everyone she loved was suddenly gone. “No..” She shook her head and covered her mouth in shock while tears were released. “No! I didn’t get to say goodbye..”

Now there was no place she could go anymore. She had lost her home. Her family. Her friends.

In the meantime, Jen was still locked in her house. She noticed though, that Judy had left her property and so it was safe for her to get out and catch some fresh air again.

Suddenly her automatic sensor spotlights lighted up as a man approached the blonde.  
Jen was ready to hold her dead husband’s gun that was in her bathrobe pocket, against the stranger. But as the light hit his face, she recognized him and let go of the weapon.

“Steve?”

“Where’s Judy? I need to talk to her immediately.” The man desperately claimed.

“She’s not here.” Jen said with a confused furrow, yet full of intrigue.

“Where is she?”

“I don’t know.” She shrugged. “Do you wanna drink or something?” The blonde suggested; seeing as the distressed man in front of her could need it too.

“She destroyed me, Jen.” He nodded and sat on the floor by the whirlpool.

“Oh well, you’re not the only one.” Jen added with a sarcastic chuckle.

“She destroys everyone and everything, wherever she goes.” Steve continued while he frowned.

“What happened?” The woman joined him while she handed the glass of wine but the man preferred the bottle.

“I can’t really get into it.” He knew that he couldn’t just tell her what it all was about.

“What? She run someone else over?” Another sarcastic comment slipped through Jen’s lips.

“She told you?” Steve raised an eyebrow and finally he dared to look at her face.

“Yeah.” Jen was surprised that he knew about it and never dared to mention it; even after they had become ‘closer’ due to the selling of his house.

“Shit.” He felt ashamed. Ashamed that he too looked like a killer. “Would it make any difference if I told you I’m sorry? Not that I was the one driving.” He tried to excuse himself.

“You were in the car.” Every new information left the blonde completely baffled.

“And that was honestly one of the worst moments in my entire life.” He played the victim.

“I’m so sorry.” Clearly the man didn’t get her sarcasm as he responded stupidly unaware of it.

“Thank you. It just killed me not to tell you, especially once I got to know you. You know, in so many ways I feel like we are in this together.”

“Are we?” Yeah, no. To Jen it was clear that he was part of it all too and that Judy shouldn’t be the one to get all the blame.

“Yeah. That’s why I need you to help me find Judy.” Oh boy, he still didn’t get it.

“Why didn’t you stop?” Jen looked right into his eyes; letting him feel intimidated.

“What?” He chuckled; finding it ridiculous of her to even ask such a thing.

“That night.”

“Oh. I mean, I wanted to..” He shrugged carelessly, but he knew well that he was the one to tell Judy to drive away.

“Judy said she wanted to go back, but she couldn’t. Why not?” Jen noticed he was lying. His body was suddenly shaking and he averted his eyes from her many times.

“I don’t- I don’t know.”

“And you didn’t.” She gritted her teeth in anger.

“Don’t do that.” He got up from the spot he was sitting on; feeling threatened by the tone in her voice.

“Do what?” She too stood on her feet; facing the man that had also killed her husband.

“Don’t turn this into some ‘blame the man’ thing. That’s bullshit. Don’t. We both know what Judy is capable of.” He held his hands in the air; attempting to calm the situation.

“Yeah and I know what you’re capable of.” Jen raised her voice in pure anger.

“Oh you have no fucking idea.” That came out as a threat and as he realized it, he changed the blame back to his ex wife. “Hey, her hand was on the wheel. Her foot was on the gas. So don’t fucking look at me like that.”

“Fuck you!” Jen shouted at him; her glare never leaving his visage.

“Fuck you! She was driving! She did it!”

“What did you say, huh?” The widow was pretty convinced that he was the one telling the other woman to drive off, but she needed to hear a confirmation from him. “After she hit him, what did you say?”

“I don’t remember.” The triggered man frowned again. He did indeed remember and the memory to it ate him on the inside — the guilt.

“Judy would’ve stopped.” That was enough to know he forced her to drive away. It wouldn’t have been the first time he forced his ex wife to do something.

“Didn’t you hear me the first time I said it? I don’t remember!” He approached her angrily. Aggression and chaos was visible on the outside.

And Jen wouldn’t let him touch her at all, so she pulled the gun in her bathrobe out and pointed it at him. “Okay you need to leave my house right now.”

“I’m a good guy Jen.” Fear replaced the other emotions in him.

“No you’re not a good guy.” She kept the weapon pointed at his face.

“You’re defending her and you’re pointing a fucking gun on me?” There was a mixture of fear and anger.

“I want you to leave my house!”

“Give me the gun, Jen. You don’t know what you’re doing.” He reached his hand out.

“Don’t come any closer!” She loaded the gun.

“I’m not going anywhere until you tell me where the fuck Judy is!” He stepped closer and as he touched her, Jen shot the gun.

A few streets away, hurt and heartbroken, the brunette found herself on the spot on the road where she had run over Ted.

There she stood, starring at the small memorial on the side of the road.  
Cars passed by her, honking to make her notice she was right in the middle of the road. But she didn’t care. If she got hit, it was meant to be. She was guilty after all, she thought and she had to pay for what she had done.

She closed her eyes and walked towards the racing car that was coming to her direction — behind the wheel was a young man, texting his friends probably; not looking where he was driving to or rather who he was about to hit.

“I’m so sorry..” Were Judy’s last words before she felt the braking car hit her and make her fall a few meters away; her body collapsing against the cold concrete surface.

Her phone rang in her purse. It was Jen; leaving a message after the mailbox went on.  
“Judy,.. I— I need you to come home.”

But Judy was on the floor, covered in warm blood and unconscious.

The boy in the car immediately called an ambulance and regretted texting his friends. He blamed himself and apologized repeatedly to Judy, while he tried to wake her.

Soon the paramedics arrived in an ambulance and took the injured woman into the nearest hospital in Los Angeles.

An hour later, Jen’s phone ringed. She hoped it was Judy calling her after she listened to her mailbox message. In the mean time, she had packed Steve’s corpse in a trash bag and locked it in her dead husband’s office.

“Hello?”

“Miss Harding? It’s nurse Martha speaking, from Los Angeles Medical Center. Miss Judy Hale had you as her contact person in her purse. She had a car accident and is currently in the intensive care unit.”

The blonde let her phone fall on the floor as she as well broke down.

“Hello? Miss Harding? Are you okay?” The nurse asked concerned as she heard the phone being dropped.

Jen covered her mouth with the palm of her hand while she cried helplessly. What did I do? She wondered in her mind. The last three words that Judy got to hear from her was “You can die.” And here she was in this situation. Guilt was back in the game.

Trembling hands reached for the phone on the floor. “I-I’m on my way.” She said before she hung up.

Wiping away her tears, she stood up and grabbed her car keys. The woman didn’t care at all that she was on her way to the hospital in pajamas and a bathrobe.

Minutes later, she was at the reception asking for her beloved friend. “I’m Jen Harding. You called because of Judy Hale, where is she? What happened? Is she okay?” She desperately asked, fighting back her tears and the knot in her throat.

“Yes, she’s in room 4, but please know..” The nurse at the reception frowned. “She’s connected to the monitor and a tube that allows her to breathe.

Her heart broke at mention of the current state that Judy was in.

It took a few gulps for her to overcome her fear and guilt and enter the room in which the brunette laid alone.

“Judy.. Oh God..” Jen closed the door and started to cry horribly, approaching the stool next to her, to take a seat on it and carefully take her injured friend’s hand. “Judy.. I-“ She could barely talk. The pain in her chest and throat caused more pain in her head; preventing her from focusing on words.

The other woman laid on the bed with broken ribs, a broken leg and a broken arm. A bandage was wrapped around her head and one could see blood through it.

Sobbing, the blonde looked up, as she got interrupted by the police man entering the room.

“Ma’am, I’m officer Davis. Detective Perez is here and would like to talk to you.” The police officer stepped away, to let the other woman enter the room.

“Mrs. Harding, hello. We found more clues and have two suspects on the list.” Said the detective to the blonde as she moved her gaze to the injured woman. “Miss Hale is one of them and her accident didn’t really seem like an accident but an attempted suicide. Her ex husband is currently being searched by the police.”


	2. Chapter 2 — Misunderstandings

...

“Not now, please..” Jen covered her face and sobbed quietly. Both “friends” were even now. They had killed each other’s husbands even if one kill had been by accident.

“But—“ The detective frowned in confusion.

Jen stood up from the stool she was seated in and broke in tears in front of the detective. “I’m done with it. I don’t want to hear anything about Ted or the case or just /anything/. I’m tired. I’m just so tired, please..” The blonde claimed crying. She was indeed tired of it all. She was tired of searching for the killer of her husband these past few months and now finding out /who/ had killed her husband — that was just too much for her.

“Alright. We’ll pause the case then until you and Miss Hale are in a stable condition.” The curly haired woman nodded her head gently, slowly understanding the situation. Then she turned around and left the two friends alone in the room.

As the curly haired woman had left, Jen glanced at the clock that hung at the wall showing that it was 5 AM. She stopped crying as she suddenly remembered that she left Steve’s corpse floating in her covered pool. 

The blonde immediately walked out of the room without even looking at Judy one more time and made her way to her car.

Soon she reached her house and walked fast, almost ran towards her garden as her neighbor Karen approached her. “Jen, hey! Are you okay? You look.. like you haven’t slept tonight.” The raven black haired woman smirked as she looked at Steve’s car, which was parked across the street. “Had a wild night?” 

“Uh.. yeah.” Jen went with the flow and chuckled awkwardly.

“That nice looking man.. hm, I wouldn’t leave him alone either.” As nosy as that woman is, she probably had seen him the night before.

Jen looked disgusted at the other woman’s words.

“Go girl! You deserve it!” Karen waved at the blonde, who was rushing inside the house.

After the awkward moment with her neighbor, Jen ran outside towards her pool and carefully removed the cover to fish the dead body out of there. As she touched the cold and wet dripping body, she felt the urge to throw up but she held it back. She gulped while she pulled Steve’s corpse inside the garage, where she’d put him in the freezer with a big lock, so her kids wouldn’t come to the idea of opening it.

Body shaking, she fell on the floor, crying helplessly.

An hour later of crying her eyes out, Jen walked across her street towards Steve’s car. She climbed in and drove it into her garage; letting the garage gate close automatically and hoping that nobody had seen her.

Then, she carefully placed the corpse into the trunk and as soon as she did, she drove out to the deserted cliff by the seaside.

Her pulse accelerated and tears streamed down her cheeks while she tried to focus on her gps and the roads.

Soon she reached the spot and before she let the car drive on automatic, she carried the body out of the trunk.

Nearby the cliffs, there was a lonely forest and so she thought of a good spot to bury the dead man in. Nervously she dug a hole and without saying any words, she covered the corpse with dirt.

The blonde started the engine and put the car on automatic, letting it drive towards the sea and let it fall into wild clashing waves.

The woman took a deep breath as she looked down at the drowning vehicle.

Her husband wasn’t there to reassure her. In fact, he never really reassured her, not even when Jen was in labor the first time, or the day she had her mastectomy done. He was a big asshole.

Her best friend wasn’t there to tell her “everything will be alright”.

And her sons didn’t know about it all, Charlie had left to his grandma’s house after an argument and Henry just followed him.

There was nobody but herself.

That same day, late at night, Jen layed in her bed, looking up and going through different thoughts. 

Usually she would be drinking a glass of wine in bed with Judy by her side while watching their favorite show.

But that night, that night was another restless and lonely night for the blonde.

The next day, Charlie and Henry came back from their grandmother’s house. Both were glad to be back home, back with their mother.

“I’m sorry, mom.. I didn’t want to-“ Charlie apologized for the bad behavior that day.

“It’s okay, baby.. come here.” Jen pulled him into a motherly hug, placing a tender and sentimental kiss on his forehead. Oh how she missed hugging her oldest son. Ever since puberty hit him, he avoided hugs and kisses from anyone and this very moment was very much needed for both— kind of a sign of truce between them.

Almost two months had passed and Jen had spent every single day with Judy, no matter if only for an hour or two. She was there to keep the brunette company and talk to her about her day, like she’d normally done whenever she came home after work.

“Henry and Charlie miss you. Well, mostly Henry misses you..” Jen chuckled softly. “And I miss you..” She gulped as she felt the urge to cry.

And in that moment, the brunette moved her hand.

“Did you just—“ Jen got up from her seat in shock as a tear streamed down while she saw how her friend started to choke.

“Help!” The blonde ran out of the room and shouted around for help. “She’s awake!”

A nurse who was nearby called the rest of the team including a doctor, to remove the tubes and check on the brunette who had been in a coma for almost two months. 

“I need you to wait outside ma’am.” Said the nurse to the blonde.

Meanwhile, the tubes and cables were pulled out by the nurses and Jen waited outside the room; anxious. What if the person she ended up falling in love with, forgot about her? What if she couldn’t remember anything?

About half an hour passed and Harding was told she could enter the room again. “Please, be careful and patient with her. She might have some memory loss and maybe she won’t even recognize you. Talk slowly and don’t overwhelm her too much with information.” The doctor said to the nervous woman.

Jen inhaled and exhaled deeply before entering the room.

“Hey..” She said with a trembling voice while she walked towards the feet of the bed.

“Hey.” Judy responded with a drowsy voice, but a smile still formed slightly.

“It’s me, Jen.” The blonde placed a strand of her hair behind her ear, trying to hide the nervousness that was showing in her trembly hands.

“Uh.. sorry..” Judy shook her head, struggling to recognize the woman in front of her.

Jen nodded slowly as she could figure out that her friend didn’t remember her anymore. “It’s okay. It’s okay. You know who I am?”

“Not really, no..” Judy furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. “Where’s Steve?”

“Uh, Steve.” Right. She had to remember him. “I don’t know.” Jen shrugged carelessly but also nervous about it. If Judy only knew that Steve was resting deep under the ground in a lonely forest by the cliff, where she let the car drown.

“And my boys? Where’s Henry? Where’s Charlie?” Judy asked with concern.

“You remember them?“ Jen tilted her head slightly to the side as a smile curled up her lips.

“Of course! How could I forget about my children?” Judy was serious about it.

“They’re not—“ Jen chuckled softly. She found it cute of Judy to say that.

“What?”

“Judy they’re not really your children. They’re my children but I’m happy to share them with you.” Jen approached the brunette and took a seat on the side of her bed while she spoke with a tender tone in her voice and a warm smile tugged from the corner from her lips.

“But Steve is my husband and we have two boys.” Judy was still confused about it all.

“Steve isn’t your husband anymore, honey.” Jen carefully caressed the other woman’s cheek.

“Wait. Are you my wife then? Do we share the kids?” Judy smiled cheekily.

“What? No? How—?” Jen startled at Hale’s words and so she pulled her hand back right away.

“Too bad. We’d make a cute couple.” Judy flirted with Harding.

“Are you fucking flirting with me?” Jen couldn’t help but to grin at her.

“Flirting? Maybe I am.” Judy teased. “Jokes aside, you’re very beautiful.” A warm smile showed up on her face. “I like to think of you as my wife, if that’s okay.” She added.

“Now you’re really fucking flirting with me.” Jen shook her head and laughed softly.

And to break their moment, Jen’s phone ringed.

“That’s Charlie.” She commented as she picked up the call.

“Please say hi from me!” Jude smiled brightly and full of hope that they’d reunite soon enough.

The blonde nodded at the brunette and turned around to the window, to find focus to speak. “Hello?”

“Mom, can you pick up Henry from school? I can’t walk home with him today. I got plans with Parker.” The young man said carelessly.

“Plans? What plans? And who the fuck is Parker?” Jen knit her eyebrows together in intrigue.

“Plans. I’ll be home at 7 PM.” He said just like that, not really asking for permission.

“Fine, but please be careful, bye. Oh wait! Judy says hi.” After all, Jen had no head to argue with him, so she let him be.

“Judy says hi? Wait, is she awake now?” A smile could be sensed throughout the phone call.

“Yes, she is.” Jen smiled and turned around to face the brunette who was laying in bed with joy in her eyes.

His younger brother heard what they talked about and so he said to Charlie at the same time that he wanted to visit Judy. “Henry wants to see her now.”

The young one snatched the phone from Charlie in excitement. “Mom! Is Judy awake? Can I please see her now? Please?” 

“No, sweetie. Not today, it’s too much for her. Maybe tomorrow you can come with me, huh?”

“Fine, I’m waiting for you then, bye!” Henry agreed with a wide grin and a soft chuckle into the phone, before he hung up.

“Bye, baby.” The blonde put her phone away and moved closer to the brunette. “I have to pick up Henry from school.”

“Are you bringing him over tomorrow?” Judy asked, hoping Jen would say yes.

“Yes, if that’s okay for you?” 

“Of course it is!” Tears of joy formed in her eyes at the thought only.

“Alright then, I gotta go.” Jen approached her even more to place a fond kiss onto her forehead, but the brunette moved her head up to let her lips touch the blonde’s chin and as Jen looked down, their lips were one breath away. Judy could feel the need to kiss the other’s lips, but at the same time she could sense Jen holding herself back. “I’m sorry..”

Jen found herself frozen like an ice cube and at the same time she felt a certain heat increase inside her body. “No, I’m sorry..” With rosy red cheeks, she apologized. “See you tomorrow.” She walked towards the door and glanced at the brunette once again before leaving.

“Bye..” Judy waved goodbye, while a bittersweet smile was visible on her face.

The next day, Jen brought the kids to the hospital as promised. All three of them entered the room with Judy’s favorite flowers and a “Get Well Soon” balloon.

“Hey!” Jen said with a grin as she walked in; stepping back to allow the kids in.

“Judy! Hi! I missed you!” Henry joyfully ran inside to carefully hug the brunette.

“Hey, baby boy!” Hale pulled the young one into a motherly hug while she smothered him in kisses.

“Slow there, buddy.” Jen smiled at the two of them while she walked towards the table next to the bed, to place the flowers she had brought, into the empty vase.

“Charlie, hey.” Judy said with a grin as she glanced at the boy who was awkwardly standing there with the balloon.

“Hi. Welcome back I guess.” He shrugged lightly and placed the balloon on the corner next to her bed. The boy, like always, struggled to show his emotions.

“Charlie.” Jen arched her left eyebrow at him as if she was trying to say that he should be more gentle with her.

“Hey, you. Come here.” Judy said to the older sibling while reaching her arm out, signaling to him to join their hug.

He took a deep breath and rolled his eyes playfully, before he joined them.

Jen couldn’t help but to smile widely. The family was reunited again — both women thought as they looked into each other’s eyes.

A week passed and Judy was finally allowed to go back home. With a wide grin, she awaited Jen’s arrival outside the hospital. She was excited that she was allowed to go back home with the kids and the beautiful blonde.

Not even ten minutes later, Jen arrived. She let the window down and put her sunglasses down while a smirk tugged from the corner of her lips. “Hey gurl! Jump in!” Then she climbed out of her car and helped the brunette with her luggage. “Let me put it in the trunk. You take a seat.” 

As soon as both were seated next to each other, the blonde looked at the brunette with a wide smile. “How are you today?”

“Happy.” Judy nodded sure about it while a grin appeared on her face. “Happy and excited.”

Once both women arrived back home, Jen led the way into the bedroom. “You used to sleep in my husband’s office, but I think it’s better if you sleep in my bed; with me. That way, if you need anything, I’ll be right there.” She smiled softly at the brunette. 

“Where is your husband?” But the brunette tilted her head slightly to the side as she looked confused at the blonde.

“He’s dead.” Jen’s words came out of her mouth as if he had died years ago. 

“Oh.. I’m so sorry.” Judy pursed her lips together slightly into a small pout.

“Don’t be. He was a fucking asshole.” Jen rolled her eyes and placed her hand on Hale’s upper arm; giving it a gentle squeeze.

“Okay..” Judy chuckled nervously.

“Why don’t you take a shower and I go make us something to eat. Feel free to use my clothes.” The blonde suggested.

“Why? I showered earlier, do I stink?” Judy felt embarrassed but at the same time she was confused. 

“No, but you just came out of the fucking hospital..” Jen gave her a look.

“Oh, alright. Okay, I’ll be in the shower if you need me then.” Hale said with a teasing wink as she walked into the bathroom.

Later at night, both women were in bed. Jen had gone through her nightly routine, like she always had done before everything with her husband happened.

“Goodnight, Jen..” Judy said as she watched the blonde lay down next to her. With a wide grin, she stared at the blonde.

“God, Judy, stop fucking staring at me like that.” Jen made a disgusted face before she turned around.

Judy hesitated first, before she gently wrapped her arm around Jen and that took the other woman by surprise. It had been a while since she had been held that way by her. She was sure that with anyone else, that moment would’ve felt awkward but with Judy it felt warm — it felt safe and so she let the other’s arm around her waist.

The next day Judy woke up from a nightmare. She opened her eyes and found herself in Jen’s bedroom. She turned around to find that the other half of the bed was empty. “Jen..” The brunette whispered as she sat up. Her lips trembled while tears formed in her eyes. The car accident — it wasn’t a nightmare. She realized that she had been in a coma for almost two months. Suddenly Hale remembered everything. Ted, Steve and of course, Jen.

Suddenly the doorbell rang and Judy got up to see who it was, since nobody reacted to the sound.

“Miss Hale, hello. Good to see you’re all fit again!” Detective Perez said with raised eyebrows. Though she wasn’t really surprised to find Hale in Harding’s house.

“Excuse me, who are you?” Judy pretended to have memory loss.

“I’m-“

“Detective Perez, hello.” Harding interrupted the two women. Protectively placing her hand around Judy, she arched an eyebrow at the detective.

“Miss Harding.” The detective nodded gently, noticing Jen’s move.

“Judy, can you please look what Henry and Shandy are up to?” Jen clearly was in protective mode.

“Uh..” Judy’s eyes moved from the detective to Jen and to the detective again.

“There’s no need for that. I need to talk to you both.”

“Not now, Detective Perez.” Jen shook her head in disagreement.

“It’s about Steve.” The detective came right to the point.

“What about him?” Judy asked with a certain intrigue in her voice.

“He is nowhere to be found. Apparently he’s out of the country.” Perez narrowed her eyes at the brunette. Thinking she might know something. “Do you remember anything Miss Hale? Did he tell you anything?”

“No..” But Hale knew very well why he was being searched. After all, she remember everything again. But she didn’t know the whole truth and what had happened while she was gone..

“You know what, Detective Perez? I moved on. I don’t care about anything in my past anymore. If you want to follow the case, go on, but don’t bother me again. I’m fucking done with it.” Jen gently stepped in front of Judy, so the other woman wouldn’t be all overwhelmed with information that she didn’t need on a Saturday morning.

“But Miss Harding-“ The detective insisted.

“I said I’m fucking /done/.” Jen shook her head before she closed door. “Fucking unbelievable!” She rubbed her forehead in distress.

“Do you know what happened to Steve?” Judy asked carefully as she knew that Jen was irritated.

“Fuck no? What the fuck? Why the fuck do you think I could know something?!” The blonde felt very paranoid and lashed out on Judy with the loud tone in her voice.

“I’m just saying.. I don’t know, I was in a coma.. I have no idea. Maybe he’s hiding in Mexico.” Judy shrugged while she frowned in concern.

“Mexico?”

“Yes.. it’s where we used to go when we wanted peace from others..” Judy glanced into the empty for a moment, remembering their good times while a small smile formed on her lips.

“Okay.. and what did he do?” 

“Uh..” Judy wasn’t sure if she could say what Steve did to get in trouble.

“Judy?” Jen tilted her head while giving the brunette one of her serious looks; putting her more in pressure.

“Well.. he was kinda involved in the Greek Mafia..” Judy closed her eyes, scared to see Jen’s reaction.

“Fucking Greek Mafia, /the/ fucking Greek Mafia?” Blue eyes widened in shock. That could be the solution for her big big secret.. she thought.

Judy slowly opened her eyes and nodded shyly.

“Okay, then he has more than one reason to be searched for..” Jen said shaking her head.

Judy waited a few seconds, before she looked Jen in the eyes. “Do you forgive me?..”

Jen felt too many emotions at once but the urge to pull the brunette into a big hug took over her.

“Does.. does that mean yes?” Judy’s eyes filled with tears again as she hugged the other woman just as tight.

“Yes..” Jen said almost whispering while she herself fought against the knot in her throat and her streaming tears.

As the days passed, Jen felt more and more consumed by her bad conscience. It felt like a heavy rock on her back, pressing her against the floor.

“Judy.. I have to tell you something..” Jen paused their favorite show and swallowed thickly.

“I’m all ears.” Judy said with a slight frown, noticing how the blonde struggled to speak.

“Jude, I-“ Jen bit the inside of her cheeks before she took a deep breath and looked at her.

But in that instant, Henry walked in. “Mom, Shandy and I are going to Cooper’s. Is that okay?”

Jen snapped out of the moment and looked at her son. “Yes, go ahead.”

The boy ran out of the room with a happy chuckle.

“What were you saying?” Hale asked with curiosity in her voice.

Jen turned back around to face Judy.

But Judy moved closer and soon their lips touched. She kissed Jen deeply, trying to lay her gently on the bed.

Yet even though Jen let herself go with the kiss for a tiny moment, she pushed the brunette away and furrowed her eyebrows together. “What the fuck are you doing?”

“Oh.. I thought.. You don’t-.. I’m sorry.. I’m such an idiot.” Judy pulled back completely. She felt so embarrassed and exposed.

“No.. I-..” Jen didn’t even know what to say to Judy’s reaction. She wished she could’ve go further with this, but keeping that big secret from the brunette was already ending her.

“No, it’s okay.” Judy brushed through her hair with her fingers nervously.

“No, it’s not.” Jen started shaking, her heartbeat became faster and the pressure inside her increased.

“Yes, I’m so stupid. I thought you-..” And before Judy could end her sentence, Jen told her the truth.

“I killed your ex husband.” Blue eyes looked right into hazel ones.

“You what?” Judy couldn’t believe what she just heard.

Jen didn’t get a word out.

“Did you do this because I killed yours by accident, Jen?! Was it revenge?!” Judy broke into tears. Her ex husband was dead too now.

“It wasn’t revenge, I swear! He-he just-“ The blonde tried to explain.

“And you kept it from me for so long? How long were you planing to keep this from me?!” 

“Hey, /you two/ pretended to be my fucking friends while you two knew what you had done first!” Jen started to cry as well.

“Oh, so you had to kill him!”

“You didn’t love him anyways!” The blonde claimed as if she knew what the brunette had once felt for Steve.

“What do you know about love, Jen. You’re a fucking cold hearted person.” Judy said in rage and as soon as she had spoken out the words, she recognized how dumb it was from her.

“Fuck off now!” The blonde could feel the knives crossing her heart again. “Get out of my fucking house!”

The brunette got up and without a word but only apologetic looks, she left the room.


End file.
